24/11/2000 0 Comments George's Disgrace!Dear Sir Humph Heads hung in shame are the order of the day all round it seems. Just a few days after you ‘decorated’ our Mum’s curtain, I got it in the neck upstairs – totally unjustified it was, too! Well, I mean, if that Alex is going to rush around her flat, sloshing white wine all over the place on the carpet, and I do my bit to help her cos I know how paranoid she is about it, and I lick up the spatterings, and it makes me throw up in the most gloriously flamboyant manner, who’s to blame for that, I ask? Mum looked a right prat following me round with a silly little scrap of paper as soon as I started getting ready to fire. As if I would do it just where she wanted me to!!! Anyway, to please her I did the first bit on her stupid paper but followed up with a veritable fountain all over the carpet. And then, did anyone stop to say “Ooh, Georgy baby-waby, izoo feeling better now, den?” (That’s the way they speak sometimes – Lord knows why.) Oh, no! Mum’s spinning about pouring white wine on it; Alex is shrieking “That’s only for red wine, you idiot.” She runs off cursing and shouting at Mum and me and the world in general and comes back with a bowl of hot soapy water and her Marigolds and dabs away at it. The two of them grump around for the rest of the evening and then we all go to bed, sulking – all except Ronnie that is, who’s looking so smug cos it wasn’t him that made a mess. (Ooh, there are times I could happily smack his silly face. Actually, near as good, the other day he came to sniff the lamppost just as I’d lifted my leg so I just took more careful aim and wee-ed on his nose! Huh!) Anyway, this morning, Mum was summoned with “I’ve got a stain on my carpet.” Luckily, she left us down this time. (We’d only gone up last night because there was some emergency on – now there’s a surprise!) But it’s all well that ends well. As it dried, the stain disappeared and everyone’s friends again. And yes, thanks for asking, Humph, I do feel much better today. Love George JP 24.11.2000
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AuthorElderly Cornish woman of substance. Archives
April 2018
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